honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
