If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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