You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
