Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
