It's like God shit irony all over that family
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
