I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize