Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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