Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
