I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
