he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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