dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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