so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
