I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
