I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize