and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
