making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
