She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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