I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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