Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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