I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
