I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
