so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
