youre lurking in front of me
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
