yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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