google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
