omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
