I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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