what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
