So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
