You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
