Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
