it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
