Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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