have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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