come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
