I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
