She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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