I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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