Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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