OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
