Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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