R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
the liver wants what the liver wants
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
