By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
