im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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