My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she was so not down for the gang bang
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
