So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
