3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
