Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
