I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
