I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
