There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
