She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
