exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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