I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize