you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
