When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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