Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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