Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
