HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
