and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
