Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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