just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
