That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
