10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
