I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
