Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm just crazy horny about you
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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