Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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