i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
