Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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