is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
