I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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