So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
