im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
