I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize